Mosaic Green
Do you dread being drawn into a discussion about your childfree status and the inevitable attempts by the childed to convert you? In the past I dreaded it. Now I relish it. I look forward to someone treading into that field of discussion.
I found that I dreaded the conversations because I felt that I had to justify my position…and I wasn’t prepared to do that. A part of me believed the myth that having kids was simply something everyone did and something I would inevitably end up doing. But I really didn’t want to. When I recognized that I didn’t desire to become a mother, I started writing down my reasons. (At this point, I would like to note that if you’ve made the decision to be childfree, you do not need to justify your position to anyone. I chose to write down my reasons so Icould justify it to myself and make a solid and informed decision on the subject.)
It’s important to know what you feel and know what’s important to you. Then and only then can you have conviction. With conviction comes confidence. Once you’re armed with conviction and confidence, you will no longer be intimidated by those asking judgmental questions. ~Gem Junkie
Counter-Bingos 21-25
Monday, 01 June 2009 06:40
21. If you only have two, you’re only replacing you and your spouse. So you’re not contributing to overpopulation.
If the parents died off immediately after having their two children (and it continued that way through the ages), then we would only be replacing ourselves. However, since the parents existence continues, then they are directly contributing to population growth. If that trend continued, by the time the parents died, there would be, at a minimum, 14 new people to replace them. (Count ‘em: the two “replacement” children, the four children they would have between the two of them, and the eight children they would have between the four of them.) They would all exist at the same time, not replacing anything, just adding on to it.
Counter-Bingos 16-20
Tuesday, 26 May 2009 07:06
16. They say that a woman’s chances of getting cancer go up if you don’t have kids by the time you’re 30.
Well now, to me, that seems like yet another selfish reason to have kids. When my child asks me one day “Mommy, why did you have me?” (and it CAN happen…I know…I asked my parents that quite a bit), I can answer truthfully “honey, I had you so I would reduce my chances of getting cancer.” Hmmm, not quite the fairy tale scenario you imagined? (Here’s where you say “well you wouldn’t SAY that to the child” and I reply “Oh, so you want me to lie to my child[ren]?)
Counter-Bingos 11-15
Monday, 18 May 2009 08:20
11. To fill a void or to have a purpose.
Believe it or not, there are people who don’t feel that “not having children” will leave a big gaping hole in their life. On the contrary, there are some people who feel that HAVING children would leave a huge hole in their life. Many people feel that to have a child is to lose one’s own identity (or result in a completely new identity). Everything you do after the birth of a child is done for that child. Suddenly the child is the center of the universe and is what most, if not all, discussions tend to revolve around. (This is not healthy by the way…it encourages self-centricity in the young ‘uns.) And if the argument is about having purpose…please see the response to #7.
Counter-Bingos 6-10
Monday, 04 May 2009 07:08
NOTE: I will be on vacation next week and, therefore, the next time I post should be the week of May 18th. This one is pretty long though, so it should keep you for awhile. ;)
6. You learn so much from your children (they help you grow)!
If I really want to learn something, I can go back to college, read a book (on ANY subject I want), scour the internet, observe the interactions of people around me, interact with them myself, or just live life. There are many ways to learn, if you truly want to learn something. There is nothing I can learn from a child that I can't learn from someone else who is already here.
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