There is a new article up by Stacey called "Those Who Have Always Known: An explanation for those who haven't. You can read it here: http://www.thechildfreelife.com/index.p ... who-havent

Great article

I struggle with what to say to on the fencers because i dont get a lot of the turmoil. its been such an eeasy decision. I often feel like by giving my point (and i guess it is staunch) that i am trying to persuade them into my way of thinking.

So glad you wrote this! It fully explains the mind set of my dh. I did not really understand him for a very long time. Part of the reason I am so glad that TCFL exists!

Great article! I totally relate. I try to understand how hard it must be to make the decision but I can't totally wrap my head around it because it was never much of a choice for me. I just knew! Thanks for writing this Stacey.

Great article.
Sign me up as an early articulator.
I feel guilty for never having to agonize over this decision.
I also don't know what to say to those on the fence. "What? Are you nuts?" seems insensitive. But, really, I have never been tempted to have kids.
Jane

Jane, you are too funny! But I have to agree. The decision was a no-brainer for me! I'm 40 now and no bio clock urges at all!

Cindy

Nice article, Stacey! I too sometimes don't know what to say to on-the-fencers. Apart from the odd hormonal flutter that only lasted a couple of days, I've never seen the appeal of kids. I've always known that it would never be a positive choice for me. And therefore it's hard for me to relate to the turmoil that people go through while deciding. Sorry, guys. I'm with you in spirit, but I don't often post on those boards because I feel like it would come across as trying to bring you over to the CF side, when actually there are no sides, and you just need to find your own way.

Totally agree. I'm 42 now. I told my parents I wasn't having kids at 19, but I knew at 12.

The day my BF (now ex husband) proposed, he said "we should get married, but I'm not having kids. Ever" Up until then, it wasn't something that had ever crossed my mind - kids were just something I ignored, as far as I could (being I was still one myself). I didn't even bat an eyelash. It just felt totally right and totally natural to say "fine by me".

I can't say I've even had a twinge, a tick, any sort of "what if ..." I look at babies and children and feel anything from complete indifference to screaming annoyance, but I've never, ever felt the urge to own one.

I'd love to be more help to fencesitter friends, but I have to admit that I really don't get it either. About all I can do is make sure that they know that children ARE a choice, and that a lot of what they hear is mythology, and encourage them to think for themselves. I really can't empathise with why it's a struggle.

Thanks for writing this, Stacey! I can only hope that as a bigger number of early articulators get older, that people will look at us and realise that "not everybody changes their minds".

Nice article. Thanks for the part about explaining how you feel about fence sitters and decision makers. I hate my position in all this, and am jealous of the CF early articulators and the parents who have always known. I HATE this feeling. It's a horrible place to be.

Oh, I also want to add that I dump on you guys A LOT here, because to everyone else I am CFC and that's that. If I let anyone else know I had doubts or analyzed everything to death, it would be interpreted as me wavering and people would get all excited that I'm bluffing and going to pop out a bunch of kids for them. And it would open up the table for them to recite from the Bingo Bible to try to convert me. This is the only safe place for me to talk about how I feel. And it kind of sucks, because you guys can't really empathize either. But at least you know how it feels when people try to persuade you into their line of thinking, so you generally aren't as judgemental. And I thank you for that.

I feel like I was on the fence for a hot minute.. For most of my life I just assumed having kids is what you do.. then I realized I had a choice in the matter and started madly researching the idea of choosing not to have kids.. and as soon as I looked at the pros and cons and all my own reasons, I slipped right over to the Childfree side. I think it would drive me crazy to remain on the fence.. always questioning one side and the other. My life is much simpler having made a choice and every day only reinforces it more and more.