slpeidle has written a new article. You can read it here: http://www.thechildfreelife.com/index.p ... -and-women

Great article, I totally agree with your point of view slpeidle!

Those who told the women, some decades ago, that they could "have it all", they lied.

I regretfully must concur with Barbara on this.

And I guess I don't understand the point of working past a bachelor's degree if one simply intends to become a mom. This is not to say that women should not pursue advanced degrees; just be realistic that they probably won't be able to make use of them in the working world.

Television continues to make motherhood coupled with high-powered careers look simple. Look at popular shows like "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice," where the characters are medical doctors, and in some case, revolutionaries in their fields. While this is an admirable notion, it's unlikely that there are many women like this who exist in the real world.

A good article, and a sad truth. Women fought for our rights to be equal with men but then men don't want to be equal with us. So while women have a right to study, and to work and be paid for it, men still don't do half the work that women do at home. Chores are not something they would fight for, right? This is what we won: one work at home and other outside. I read some statistics stating that in average family when both woman and man work, the man does about 20% of chores the woman does after work. And this is it, we are equal, but only when it comes to professional career (as we all know, not quite equal even here, but never mind).

You know how I solved that little problem? I didn't do his laundry, just mine. I didn't cook his meals, just mine. I didn't clean up his space, just mine. When the master bedroom toilet clogged because of something dumb that he did, I didn't phone the plumber; I used the one downstairs until he bought gear and fixed the sucker. He had huge tanks of salt water fish that I was maintaining. I finally threw up my hands and stopped feeding them and doing tank changes. The tanks crashed, and all of the fish died.

He suggested getting a housekeeper and a professional fish tank cleaner, which we did.

The End.

Men will only take on their share of the work when women insist upon it, and decline to partner up with men who have Neanderthal views about keeping a home decently clean. Mr Kalinka didn't have a clue when he moved in. We instituted Thursday Night Cleaning, which means we both clean up, together. He doesn't get to duck out or do it so badly that I end up doing it anyway. I've known plenty of men deliberately make a bad job of chores so that the woman has no choice but to take over, and plenty of women actually accept and welcome that, because it makes them feel important. The trouble is that a messy man is seen as being quite normal, whereas a messy woman is seen as a sloven.

Sometimes we women are our own worst enemies. We can't have it all, we can't do it all, we shouldn't burden ourselves by trying to be Wonder Woman all the time. Some things have to slide.

I do think there is a category of women - very high earners - who can and do have it all, but it's a rarity.

However, in this particular case, 24 is very very young to have a child. Her "struggle" comment sounds like something I would say, as I tend to have a very negative turn of phrase; but she may simply want the kids right now and I must say I had a lot more energy at 24 than 34.

I am surprised that she doesn't just want to do the Masters' first and have kids later. Wonder what the hurry is?

We don't have kids, but I didn't get that deal. If anything it's probably the other way around in my house. I don't really mind though. I've always been able to take care of myself so I'm used to it. Basically I let her clean, except for "my" room, which we're not that messy so she doesn't that often, and do her laundry since she's really picky about the way those are done. Actually, I do a lot of little pick-up type cleaning in between the times she decides she wants to scrub the whole place.

Just about everything else I do, except that we hire someone to do the lawn because my allergies can't handle a yard that takes 2 hours for me to mow. Like I said though, it doesn't bother me too much except for the occasions when she gets so used to me doing everything for her that she'll call me in from the other room to get her a drink or throw her trash away or something while she's feeling fine but doesn't want to get off the couch. That doesn't happen too often though.

My husband definitely does more around the house than I do. It's not that I don't clean at all, it's that he is a neat freak while I am NOT. He'll see something that needs to be done that I don't even notice. I guess he just has the better eye.

As for the article...I completely agree with everything stated. Women are told they can have it all, but the only way I've seen that work is if you already have a lot of money. Everyone I know with kids is struggling right now, and that includes the double-income households. In fact, this was one of the reasons DH and I finally hopped off the fence and planted our feet firmly on the CF side; our parents came from a generation where one income could support a family of four, with enough left over for a fun little family vacation in the summer. These days, both partners need to work long hours just to get by, and good luck having any mad money left after the bills are paid. It's very depressing.

Also, women are still expected to put up with the grunt-work of managing a household and children while juggling a career. I'm thankful my husband would help me if we ever had kids, but I know that's not a reality for a lot of women. It's backwards, it's sad, and it's an issue that get swept under the rug. Society expects too much of its women, and not enough of its men.

Great article, thanks slpeidle

I find it so sad when women approach having children in the same way as clearing the guttering or doing a tax return, i.e. with an attitude of "oh well, it's a troublesome job but I have to do it sometime, so may as well get it over with". For all the education women can have, it's a shame they've never been educated that children are not inevitable, and that opting out is just fine too